are you so shy because you have an std?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
