I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Randomize
