If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
