Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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