I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
wow bdsm is so cute
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