Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The best revenge is premature balding
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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