Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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