don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
