It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
