she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
