guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
