You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
