I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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