but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
