Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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