he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
