I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
