It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
