a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize