he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
