I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
