i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
