he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
