He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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