did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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