God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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