Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
