So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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