ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
