OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
