omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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