Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
