Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize