my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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