You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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