He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
