He is an equal opportunity slut.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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