Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
