To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
