Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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