There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
