Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
