Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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