Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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