1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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