How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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