She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
