Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
