My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
