gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
