i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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