Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I need moral support for this bender
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
