I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
