Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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