I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
