Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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