i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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