OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
