can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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