evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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